The 5 Stages of Spring Break as Told by Corinne

Spring break is a little less than a week away. While most of you are cramming for that last midterm and quickly giving up on that “beach bod” you were so determined to get (back in January), you are so, so ready for a weeklong vacation. Also … in conjunction with spring break, the last few episodes of this season’s dramatic Bachelor on ABC will be airing. As an avid fan of “The Bachelor” franchise,  it is only fitting that I write an article narrating your likely stages of spring break as told by my favorite Bachelor villain/babe, Corinne Olympios.

4E presents your five stages of spring break:

Stage 1: The Stage of Pure Bliss
You’ve just arrived to your destination and you are ready to throw on that new swimsuit and get a drink in your hand ASAP. You feel motivated, excited and just plain relieved to be on vacation bliss instead of Lau 5.

Stage 2: The Stage of Debauchery
It’s been a day or so and you’ve really been taking advantage of your time without responsibilities (like, really taking advantage). You’re having fun and maybe having a few too many poolside Piña Coladas, but who’s counting. You may go out one night and dance on a few tables, but hey, this is spring break! No ragrets, right?

Stage 3: The Stage of Regret
Your head is pounding and you never want to see another margarita in a plastic cup again … let alone go anywhere near that poolside bar. You’re tired, hungry and just need some TLC. This may be in the form of a spa treatment or a relaxing shopping day or even a nice long nap. All you know is that last night was fuzzy and you need to lay low for a few hours.

Stage 4: The Stage of Exhaustion
Sometimes, a “college” spring break can be absolutely exhausting. You are constantly on the go, doing lots of activities and the sun can be rather draining. You’re sharing a hotel room with five people and you can only sleep max six hours a night. It’s like you need a vacation from your vacation and you just CAN’T EVEN.

Stage 5: The Stage of Reminiscing
Your spring break is almost over, and while you’re happy to get back on a normal sleeping schedule, you truly had the best time ever. You’re basically going to talk about this trip for the next three months and post lots of “take me back” posts on Instagram (#TBT). You can’t wait to tell the rest of your squad all about your amazing vacation, even if there were a few hiccups.

4E wishes all of you a wonderful and safe spring break.

Spoiler Alert: Corinne may be off the show, but we all know that we will be seeing much more of her in the future! #TeamCorn everyone!!!

Images: giphy.com

GUSA Presidential Debate Drinking Game: 2017 Edition

It’s that time of year again. No, not the time to start getting ready for darties, freaking out about that perfect outfit for spring break or stressing out about midterms. It’s something even more important than that!

It’s the 2017 GUSA election!

Even though it seems like every year the election sneaks up on us, it’s important that we are aware of each campaign’s platform. So in true 4E fashion, we have prepared the perfect drinking game for tonight’s presidential debate.

The presidential debate begins tonight, February 20th, at 7:30 p.m. in the HFSC. Let’s learn more about our candidates and have a libation in our hand at the same time (for 21+ students only). Stay classy and drink responsibly.

Take a small swig…every time a candidate or a question uses the following word(s):

  • Advocate
  • 2018 Campus Plan
  • Issues
  • Diversify
  • Unique perspective
  • Increasing engagement with administrators
  • Barriers
  • Platform
  • Involvement
  • Awareness
  • Grassroots
  • Corp coffee

Take a big swig…

Chug the rest of your drink and go cuddle with Jack the Bulldog…

  • If a heckler begins a “Fire JT III” chant.

Election day is February 23rd! Vote on and Hoya Saxa!

Images: giphy.com

Word Wednesday: So Extra

What is that word that I’ve been hearing oh so much, that kids are just spitting out lately? Oh, yes: “extra” or better yet, “so extra.”  My trusty source, Urban Dictionary, defines “extra” as “over the top, excessive, dramatic behavior.” Now I realize why the cool kids are using this word in excess because it seems like everyone these days is just SO EXTRA!

If you still need some help figuring out how and when to use this vernacular, 4E has laid out some prime examples. The following images are just so extra.

Cee Lo Green at the Grammys. 

Yeah, this is so extra.

Beyonce’s pregnancy announcement

We love you, but so extra.

Lady Gaga jumping onto the stage at the Super Bowl Halftime Show

She killed it, but so extra.

Kim K. taking selfies while Khloe goes to jail

Such a classic and so extra.

4E hopes that another edition of Word Wednesday has helped you become a little bit more cool and maybe even a bit more EXTRA.

Sources: usweekly.com, urbandictionary.com, giphy.com

Word Wednesday: Cuffing

Oh baby, it’s cold outside and that means one thing: it’s “cuffing” season. What is cuffing you may ask? Well, this Word Wednesday 4E is about to educate you on this oh-so important word. You can thank us in advance.

According to notably credible source Urban Dictionary, “cuffing” or better yet, “cuffing season” is that time during the cold months when singles everywhere wish to hop on the relationship train desiring to be “cuffed” or cuddled in a ball of warm love. Urban Dictionary states, “the cold weather and prolonged indoor activity causes singles to become lonely and desperate to be cuffed.”

So, if you’re single and ready to mingle or just want an extra body to keep you warm on those cold winter nights, then “cuffing” is a word you should familiarize yourself with! But, how do you find your cuffing partner? Oh don’t worry, 4E has a few ways you can find a winter bae.

  1. Get on a dating app
    This is a fool proof, option plenty way to meet someone ! You can hop on Tinder, Bumble, Hinge, Happn, Grindr and many more. Just start swiping and you’ll find a cuddle buddy in no time.
  2. Get on Spoonr
    If you’re looking to skip the awkward small talk and happy hour dates, then get straight on Spoonr.  I didn’t even know this kind of thing existed, but apparently Spoonr is the #1 cuddling app. I guess there really is an app for everything.
  3. Get the newest edition of the girlfriend/boyfriend body pillow
    If you’re looking to just skip the whole human interaction thing altogether but still want to feel cuddled by an inanimate object (#creepy), then look no further than the “boyfriend/girlfriend cuddling pillow.”  You’ll feel loved and get to skip all conversation and effort at the same time.
    We hope that you keep warm over these next few months and find your perfect cuffing partner. Honestly, skip the dating apps and pillows…dogs are the best for cuddles!

    Images: giphy.com

4E’s Guide on How NOT to Repeat 2016

20162016 was one for the books…well a book we’d like to close, throw in the fire and watch burn. Yeah, 2016 may not have been the best but luckily, with the New Year, 4E is looking at the glass half full. We may have lost Harambe, our Democratic credibility as a nation and as of late, our beloved Princess Leia, but it’s time we put all of that in the past and concentrate on a better future. So, 4E has put together a quick guide on how to make 2017 a great year…and make sure 2016 will never be repeated.

Avoid anything having to do with the Kardashians.
Yes, I understand that the cover photo of this article stars Kim K, but can we just take a minute to discuss why the Kardashians should remain in 2016. Kim K was tied up by robbers in Paris, Kanye had a mental breakdown and then, met with President-elect Trump (I had so many questions but no answers) and Kylie’s lips only got bigger. Don’t even get me started on Blac Chyna and Rob. The Kardashian curse is a thing for a reason people!

The answer is no.
The answer is no.

Become more skeptical.
I am specifically addressing the recent hype and quick disappoint of the iPhone 7 release. I know Apple is always trying to be ahead of the curve, but Steve Jobs has to be rolling in his grave. Where did my headphone jack go and more importantly, where are these “AirPods” you have been promising? Apple, we were not and are still not ready for this, so with that, 4E advises you to become more skeptical when it comes to hype.

Spend less time on social media.
2016 seemed to be the biggest year for social media yet! While we may have stepped up our meme game, we also spent wayyyyy too much time scrolling through our Snapchats, Instas, Facebooks and Twitters. The whole thing can get quite exhausting. I also can’t handle one more Harambe post, it just hits too close to the heart.

Stop dabbing.
This 2016 ritual should stay in 2016. I’m not usually superstitious, but I believe that the whole dabbing thing brings some bad mojo. So, please…let’s just not.

While this past year has been getting many negative reviews, it is important that we remember all of the wonderful things 2016 has given us. 2016 gave us more Netflix hits (Stranger Things!), more memes and more Pokémon. But let’s be real, we are so happy it’s over!
Happy 2017 Hoyas!

Images: giphy.com, buzzfeed.com

How To Throw A Holiday Party As Told By Michael Scott

how to throw a holiday party

It’s that time of year again. A time when you need to choose between spending more time perfecting that final paper or perfecting that hilarious Secret Santa gift. While it may be difficult to manage it all, 4E is here to help you make this season a bit less stressful. Here are five tips on how you can throw the perfect Christmas/Holiday party. Oh, and we got a little help from our old friend, Michael Scott.

  1. Give your holiday party a theme.

    It’s Santa Bond.
  2. Decorate. Decorate. Decorate. 
  3. Get the proper libations (if you’re 21 of course) or drinks to get the party started. 
  4. Take your Secret Santa to the next level. 
  5. Make sure you have proper holiday music to continue the party! 

While it may be daunting to throw a holiday party during this hectic time, we hope that our five tips give you the boost you need. And let’s just take a minute to remember why we are celebrating in the first place.

World’s Best Boss

Images: giphy.com, http://theofficescreenshots.tumblr.com/page/6

4E Reveals What’s Changing at Tombs

Revealing the new tombs

If you didn’t already know, The Tombs is reopening tomorrow – September 6 – after a three month renovation. While 4E doesn’t want to reveal all that is changing (you’ll have to see for yourself), we do have the scoop on some of the new menu and drink deals rolling out this fall.

While some Tombs staples, like the Chicken #1, will remain, new dishes include Brussels sprout salad (yum) and a fried chicken sandwich.

Finally, for the moment you have all been waiting for … THE DRINK DEALS!!!

Due to the hard work and sleuthing of The Hoya’s news section, 4E has learned that The Tombs will be “implementing” cheaper prices for some of its libations. Did you read that? Yeah, that’s right, cheaper PRICES!

Several types of beer will be lowered in price, including a locally brewed beer called DC Brau. In addition, The Tombs will be introducing new drink specials, like $3 bourbon on Monday nights and $3 vodka on Wednesday nights.

Sorry, we didn’t give you every insider secret about the ~new~ Tombs, but we are pretty darn excited for its return. So, please show your school some pride and go to the reopening of this wonderful establishment steeped in Georgetown tradition… (and some questionable Hoya dance moves).

Images: http://bit.ly/2c4MoS, giphy.com

Surviving the Sunday Scaries

Surviving the Sunday Scaries

Have a fun, crazy weekend? Feel like you need another one just to recuperate from your weekend? Are you currently in bed scooping handfuls of Nutella into your mouth as you procrastinate on your first course reading with Netflix’s “Stranger Things” stressing about your upcoming week?

If this is your current status, then you’re suffering from what 4E likes to call the Sunday Scaries. According to Urban Dictionary, the Sunday Scaries is defined as “the dreadful feeling on a Sunday morning after a long hard week of boozing … regret,the shakes, having no money left in your wallet and spending the day hugging the porcelain throne are all common symptoms.”

Yes, fellow Hoyas, the Sunday Scaries is very much a real epidemic that must be addressed and 4E is here to do just that. Please read the following if you or a loved one are seeking help.

  1. Drink more! No no, I am not talking about alcohol here! Get your shakey self over to Wisey’s and make sure to buy some Gatorade or anything with electrolytes. And while you’re at it, buy yourself a bacon, egg and cheese too.
  2. No Ragrets! Even though you may be regretting the previous two days and how you spent that precious time, live in the now. You only live once, so get yourself together and revel in your current period of relative freedom.
  3. Treat yo self! You have probably put your body through some pretty rough things the past 48 hours, so get yourself a good meal to put some nutrients into your body. Hit up Mai Thai, or if you want to be really healthy, splurge on Sweetgreen. 
  4. Don’t look at your bank account! You’re not ready for this sad, sad realization, so save the “checking your bank statement episode of horror” for Monday.
  5. Get your sh** together! Now that you’re somewhat put together, spend some time cranking out that assignment you forgot was due tomorrow.

With these five potentially difficult but very feasible steps, you can overcome that heart wrenching feeling called the Sunday Scaries. 4E recommends that you do have a a jar of nutella at the ready for those inevitable moments of weakness.

Images: giphy.com, http://bit.ly/2bHbDZE

So You Need A Column Topic? 2.0

columnist fb cover

With applications for The Hoya’s fall 2016 columnists just released, 4E is here to help you get a little inspiration by giving you some examples of excellent column topics from the past.

First, here are some tips from last semester’s guide!

  • Write about a topic you’re familiar with. The best columns are those that focus on something about which the writer has genuine curiosity. Just look at Hoya Historian!
  • Make sure your topic is broad enough to span the entire semester, but not so broad that it can become scattered.
  • Be CREATIVE! There are some columns that cover topics such as identity or politics that are always good subjects to write about, but sometimes the great column ideas develop from seemingly simple ideas, like this one in the Guide about sandwiches. Try to think of a unique idea or have a different take on a topic we’ve already published.
  • If you have an idea you’re passionate about, run with it and see where it goes. The sky’s the limit!

The Guide

The Guide, which publishes once weekly, is looking for columnists to write every issue or every other issue. The wide scope of the Guide, which focuses on art, culture, lifestyle and entertainment, allows for a lot of creative freedom when coming up with column ideas. Just look at the variety among these sample columns about Kanye West, a columnist’s summer job and dating in college.

“What Yeezy Taught Me About Failure” – Daniel Smith

“The Woes of Summer Serving” – Nicole Jarvis

“Opting into the Dating Game” – The Cereal Dater

Opinion

An integral part of every issue, our opinion pages feature columns of an argument-based nature. Past themes have included identity, advice from seniors, neuroscience, foreign policy in the Middle East and politics. There is a multitude of ways through which the column can analyze an issue, including from a social, political, historical, statistical, educational or cultural point of view. Here are a few successful columns from last semester.

“It’s Good To Be Busy” – Rahul Desai

“The Buzz About ‘Lemonade’ “ – Femi Sobowale

“The Convoluted Kurdish Question” – Matthew Gregory

Sports

Sports columnists have the opportunity to delve into deeper analyses of team strategy, unpack the rivalries and controversies within the worlds of both professional and collegiate athletics, make predictions on future trades and match ups and comment on the relationship between sports and popular culture. Check out these excellent examples.

“Contracts Create Disputes” – Michael Ippolito

“Saunders Impacts Players” – Paolo Santamaria

“Sports Figures Overrepresented On Campuses” – Jimmy McLaughlin

We hope these examples help! The Hoya is always looking for innovative and talented writers like you, so please apply here by 11:59 p.m., August 27th!

Images: giphy.com

Bed, Bath & Beyond Blacklisted: The Unofficial Back to School List

Back to School List

As most of you are packing up your rooms at home or just moving out of your apartments from your internship/summer job days, you’re probably asking yourself: “Am I missing anything?” While this packing process is quite overwhelming, the answer to that question is “Yes.” Yes, you are definitely missing a few back-to-college essentials that we can GUARANTEE you haven’t thought of.

If you are returning to the Hilltop, you may have realized that these items were necessary for your first few days at Georgetown, but for those of you who are new, you will be happy that you came across yet another 4E guide!

Here is our ~unofficial~ back to school list: 

Bottle-opener key chain: This item is essential for two reasons.

1. You need something to put your new dorm key on because you do not want to lose it! That $100 lost key charge could be better spent on Wisey’s sandwiches and Saxby’s cold brew! Also, you should probably lose the lanyard A$AP (that’s just 4E’s advice).

2. Once you have ditched that pesky lanyard you got at NSO, a bottle opener key chain will def prove handy when you are out and about “exploring” Georgetown.

This is NOT the guy who gets invited back next weekend. You've been warned.
This is NOT the guy who gets invited        back next weekend. You’ve been                                warned.

Extended phone charger: This item may not sound very cool, but trust me, it is essential when you know you’ll be either sleeping in bunk beds or lofted beds for the next few years. There is nothing worse than having to wake up with no battery on your phone or laying in bed and having to get up to charge it. #FirstWorldProblems

A big-a** bottle of Advil/Ibuprofen: This, my young friends, will be your saving grace. While you should drink water instead of resorting to Advil for those headaches (we won’t discuss how you got those!), we just recommend you have some a lot at hand. You will thank 4E later.

“Uh, and if you don’t know,                                now you know…”

Anything but a mesh trash can: Put quite simply, there will be some unsightly things entering that trash can this year. You don’t want anything leaking on the floor now, do you?

A 21-year-old “friend”: I don’t think I need to explain why this connection is something essential when stepping onto campus as an underclassman.

BETTER YET!

A fellow freshman with an older sibling at Georgetown: Who better to inform you, you youngin’, of the ins and outs of Georgetown than a living, breathing Hoya? (Answer: 4E, duh. We have all the answers.)

Blotting papers: Listen up – everyone will benefit from purchasing a pack of these to slide in your wallet. D.C. humidity is NOT – I repeat – NOT a joke. Things get sweaty real quick. Stay on top of your game. A great way to earn friends is to ensure they remain as put together as one can when braving the 85 and muggy temperatures of the Hilltop nightfall.

A Costco size jar of Nutella: Take it from someone who knows; there is nothing better to late-night binge eat than a heaping spoonful of Nutella. Unless that spoon has previously been dipped in some Skippy and you’re now slathering the entire mess onto a Double Stuffed Oreo.

Felt this in my loins.
Felt this in my loins.

A taste for the finer things: Leo’s brunch and plastic bottles of Burnetts now await you. Gone are the days of buying an 18-pack of Bud Light at your town bodega. Natty Light is your drink of choice now. Get used to it.

We are 99 percent sure this scene was actually shot in Leo’s during Sunday brunch hour.

A dictionary: However, in this case, a Webster simply won’t do. Brush up on your Georgetown lingo before arriving on the Hilltop with this 4E helping hand. Who’s lost in translation? Not you!

Your best smile :) It’s like Annie always said, “You’re never fully dressed without a smile!” The best years of your life await you. Greet them with open arms and you’ll reap the benefits.

Images: giphy.com, http://bit.ly/2biBWVK