Messi is Here!

MESSI

In case you haven’t already heard, Lionel Messi and the Argentine soccer team are on campus! In preparation for their friendly match against El Salvador, the Argentine soccer team will be practicing at Shaw field all week.

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Although the team only invited 350 guests to watch their practice, hundreds more rushed to Shaw field yesterday afternoon as the word spread. Technically, these practices are closed to the public and the team is not releasing an official practice schedule, but anyone hoping to catch a glimpse of Messi or any of the other Argentine stars would be wise to stop by Shaw field sometime during the afternoons.

Even without Messi, the world cup runner-up team still boasts one of the best national rosters, including Gonzalo Higuaín, Sergio Agüero and Carlos Tevez.

The bottom line is: stop by Shaw Field sometime this afternoon if you’re looking to see some world class soccer and some athletes who spend way too much time taking care of their hair.

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Photos: Claire Soisson/The Hoya; theimperfectgame.files.wordpress.com

Manly Monday: Sweater Weather

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Sweater weather is upon us, and with it comes a wide variety of seasonal attire. Buddy the Elf once theorized that the best way to spread Christmas cheer is “singing loud for all to hear”. As much as I respect Buddy, I’m going to have to disagree on this one. Without a doubt, the best way to spread Christmas glee is flaunting sweaters for all to see.

 

For those of you who are concerned about your masculinity during the holiday season, have no fear. If Ron Swanson can wear holiday sweaters, then you certainly can wear holiday sweaters.

Here are some of our favorite looks

At 4E, we don’t like to use the term ugly. We find it counter-productive. Instead, let’s just go with the term “festive”. So if you’re feeling festive, then you really can’t go wrong with a knit cardigan over a turtle neck. A look like that just screams with confidence.

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If they’re the same color, then congratulations. You’ve reached a new level of festive.

Speaking of confidence, why not just ditch the turtle neck? Try wearing this bold look during finals if you’re looking to leave a strong exit statement. You never know, it could be the new fashion craze.

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The only better way to spread the cheer than holiday sweaters? Well-coordinated group sweaters. Obviously. celebrities-ugly-christmas-sweaters--large-msg-135447913104

So get out there, find some festive sweaters and spread some Christmas cheer by showing off the sweaters you wear.

Photos: esquire.com, dailydawdle.com, refinedguy.com

Manly Monday: Georgetown Alumni Facial Hair Review

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Movember is upon us. And if “moisture is the essence of wetness and wetness is the essence of beauty,” then facial hair is definitely the essence of manliness. Plus you can celebrate Movember to raise money and awareness for a good cause. With that in mind, let’s take a moment to appreciate some of the most famous beards in Georgetown history.

Patrick Ewing (CAS ’85)

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Although we generally associate handlebar mustaches with creepy neighbors and fictional 1970s television broadcast teams in the greater San Diego area, Ewing pulls off this ‘stache with pizazz. If you’re also a Hall-of-Fame-caliber basketball player, then you might want to consider growing out a handlebar mustache. Otherwise, we’d advise you to stay away.

Nick Kroll (COL ’01)

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Kroll has tested out a few different beards and mustaches over the years, everything from the classic lazy beard to the 80s-style creeper ‘stache. His Larry Bird mustache might be somewhat ahistorical, but at least it’s manly.

John Mulaney (COL ’04)

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A pupil of Nick Kroll, Mulaney has dominated the comedy circuit in recent years, but he hasn’t quite mastered the facial hair. Maybe someday, John.

Bill Clinton (SFS ’68)

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You may know him as a polished former President and potential “First Gentleman,” but Bubba used to showcase a shaggy beard in his college days. For those you hoping to follow in Bill’s footsteps, consider growing out your facial hair. Plus, it might help you attract a smart hippie like Hillary.

Happy Movember everybody!

Photos: respondmississippi.blogspot.com, thedistractionnetwork.com, galleryhip.com, funny-pictures.picphotos.net, lockerdome.com, ohnotheydidnt.livejournal.com, dailymail.co.uk

Midterm Fails

Midterm Fails

An elementary school teacher of mine once referred to tests as “celebrations of knowledge.” “It is your opportunity to show me how much you have learned,” he told me. However, in the midst of midterm season, it often feels like there is simply too much to learn and too little time. As much as you want to celebrate your knowledge in Lau, sometimes it’s just easier to celebrate your love for pink lemonade Burnett’s in a crowded Henle apartment.

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That said, you like to consider yourself a diligent student who takes learning seriously, so you wistfully turn your back on your friends and dejectedly reignite your unhealthy relationship with cheap coffee. Welcome to midterm season, a time when sleeping is the most exciting part of your day and drinking refers almost exclusively to caffeine. If you’re like us here at 4E, pushing through this trying time in an effort to pass all of your exams will almost inevitably lead you to fail at life. So if midterm season has you down, take a look at 4E’s top five midterm fails and join us in sullen solidarity.

1. The surprise midterm

OK, so maybe this only happens to me, but I’m going to pretend that it could happen to anybody. You started midterm season off right by planning out all of your studying time. You think you have it all figured out until late one Sunday night, when one of your friends from class makes an offhanded comment about reviewing for the next morning’s midterm. You freeze. “You mean Wednesday morning, right?” you utter, with a slight quiver in your voice. They respond with a confused look. “Uhh no, I mean tomorrow morning. The midterm is in like ten hours…” From there, you promptly scurry off to Lau, where you spend eight of the next ten hours studying. (The other two hours are spent using your textbook as a pillow in the far corner of Lau 5.) If this has also happened to you, please let me know, because I’d love to think that I’m not the only person spacey enough to forget about a midterm.

2. Planning your weekend 

When you start planning you midterm studying around the inebriated advice of a high school friend, you know you’re doing midterms wrong. As you sit in Lau one Saturday afternoon, internally debating whether or not to go out, you think of an old friend who once drunkenly declared, “You gotta be smart when you’re being dumb.” With these wise words tumbling through your over-caffeinated, under-slept mind, you decide that you can, in fact, go out. Just wake up early and study tomorrow morning, you tell yourself. For the next few hours you feel like you just made the greatest decision of all-time.

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Then, Sunday morning hits you like a tidal wave of head pain and light sensitivity and you realize that you’re not as smart as you once imagined.

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3. Becoming a little too comfortable with the late-night Corp baristas

A lot of the Corp baristas are great people, but that doesn’t mean you necessarily want them to recognize your name and order. This is especially true if you’ve ordered a large iced coffee with an extra shot at 11:30 p.m. for the last four nights in a row. If they start asking you about that midterm you were studying for last week, then you probably need to drink less coffee. Or at least hide your caffeine addiction by buying your coffee from different places.

4. And on that note…

Overheard in Lau: “So I was picking up my third PSL of the day and the barista was just like, ‘No, it’s OK. You can have this one for free. Anyone on their third cup by 12:30 deserves a break.’”

Need I say more?

5. Judgment eyes from the Vittles employee as you pick up your tenth box of ramen this week

You promise that you don’t usually eat this much ramen. “I’m only eating this because of midterms,” you emphatically tell the skeptical cashier. You swear that it’s just because of midterms … No one believes you, but at least you have an excuse.

If any of the above describe you during midterm season, then don’t worry — you’re not alone.

Photos: memegenerator.net, pinterest.com, quickmeme.com, wordpress.com

Five People You’ll Meet at Your Lazy Summer Job

Lazy Summer Coworkers

While many Hoyas spent the summer getting real, hands-on work experience with impressive companies and organizations, many others, like me, decided to spend one last summer working a lazy summer job. Staring at an empty pool as we try to not fall asleep may not leave us with much valuable work experience, but it certainly comes with an eclectic array of co-workers. If you have also spent a summer working a restful, albeit boring, job, then you have probably met these five people.

The Silent One

They seem nice enough at first, but before long you start to feel the judgement in their eyes and you realize that they’ve been silently gauging you for weeks. It would be one thing if they passed their time reading or listening to music, but no, the most interesting silent co-workers have an uncanny ability to follow every conversation without contributing a single word. When they do choose to contribute, one of two things happens: either they deliver a perfect gem that sends the entire staff into a bout of laughter, or they mutter something uncomfortable that leaves everyone glancing at each other awkwardly. Just hope that your silent co-worker is more humorous than bitter.

The Partier

You’re not quite sure if they have ever showed up to work on time and completely sober, and they’re not quite sure why everyone else thinks that punctuality and sobriety are so important. They’re great to have on the staff if you’re looking to make plans that night, but they’re miserable if you’re not looking to hold their hair as they taste last night’s Burnett’s for the second time.

The Almost Too-Chill Boss

This boss just wants to be your friend and they go to extreme lengths to do so. Want to leave early? Go for it. This boss won’t say anything. They’re great to have as a supervisor, but just hope that they’re not signing your paychecks because you’re probably not getting that check until November… if you’re lucky.bill haderThe Neurotic One

You are convinced that you work the easiest job in the world, but this person sees things differently. To them, work is a stressful adventure full of potential disasters and they are determined to face every problem head-on. Forgot your lunch? Don’t worry, neurotic co-worker has got you covered; they packed two just in case. As great as it is to have someone looking out for you, their presence stresses you out and their consistent need to remind you of all of the times that the helped you out in the past annoys you to no end.

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The Confused One

Like the neurotic one, they haven’t quite figured out the beautiful simplicity of the job. Although they are usually a lovably naive person, their consistent tardiness and general inability to complete basic tasks without pestering you with questions makes them a rather unfortunate co-worker. As much as you hate taking out the trash, you realize that it’s probably a lot easier to take it out for them than it is to explain the intricacies of trash removal, so you usually just end up doing it for them.

Photos: whopperjaw.net, wordpress.com

Gif: tumblr.com

 

Arbitrary Rankings

dolesscuseRecently, the Princeton Review named Syracuse University the nation’s top party school. Unfortunately, Georgetown didn’t quite make the list, but I have a feeling that the administration isn’t complaining about that. If you’re like us here at 4E, you hate to see Syracuse win at anything and you’re probably feeling especially bitter towards the Orangemen right now. In which case, good news! The administration over at Syracuse hasn’t exactly taken kindly to their new position atop the college party scene.

Apparently Syracuse parties a lot?
Apparently Syracuse parties a lot?

In response the Princeton Review ranking, Syracuse released a statement expressing concern for their new label as the hardest partying school in the country. “We do not aspire to be a party school. With new leadership, we are very focused on enhancing the student experience, both academically and socially. Students, parents, faculty and the full Syracuse University community should expect to see important and positive changes in the year ahead that will improve and enhance the student environment in every aspect.” In other words, the fun police will be out in full force at Syracuse next year and its reign as America’s party king is likely to be short-lived.

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Sorry not sorry

Before long, Syracuse will cough up its partying crown and we can all stop hating ourselves for feeling jealous of Syracuse’s sudden fame. Until then, let’s focus on some of the more positive rankings of the past few months. First of all, we all know that in the extensive and confusing world of obscure college rankings, the only list that really matters Business Insider’s “25 Colleges Where Students Are Both Hot and Smart.” And let’s not forget that Georgetown finished fourth on this year’s list. Moreover, Forbes magazine recently named Washington DC the “coolest city in America.” Personally, my heart still lies with Boston, but I’m proud of DC nonetheless. (Meanwhile people in Portland are still too cool to realize that Forbes actually ranks cities by “coolness”).

So we Hoyas aren’t ranked number 1 for “Party Schools”, number 4 for “Lots of Beer”, number 2 for “Lots of Hard Liquor,” (obviously Princeton Review has overlooked our dear friend Burnett’s), or number 18 for “Reefer Madness” . But honestly, we think those rankings only prove you’re trying too hard, Syracuse. Everything in moderation, children. So we can sum it up pretty simply for you all: We don’t drink as much as Syracuse because we’re probably studying and looking good while doing it. We don’t smoke as much as Syracuse because we’re probably plotting how to clinch a spot in Congress… and looking good while doing it. Still, when we do go out, we do it well… and we look damn good while doing it.

The Year the Easter Bunny Got Lazy

4Easter

For all of the doubters out there, the Easter Bunny is real. In fact, the Bunny is a regular 4E News Correspondent who serves as the head investigator for mythical stories. However, some of our recent conversations with the Bunny suggest that Easter might be a little bit different this year.

In January, the Bunny hit the slopes of Aspen, Colo., to blow off a little steam before his busy season arrived. Although we had expected him to come back within a few days, four months later, the Easter Bunny shows no signs of returning. 4E called him last night to get the inside scoop.

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“Alright alright alright … I’ll answer your questions.”

Apparently, the vacation inspired a few lifestyle changes for the Easter Bunny. Rather than returning after a week as he had planned, he decided to settle in Colorado as he explored an alternative lifestyle. Most years, the Easter Bunny spends his days hiding eggs and gathering chocolate in preparation for his big day, but this year, the Easter Bunny has been spending his time eating Cheetos and looking for his TV remote, which he apparently lost some time in early February.

The personality changes go beyond his newfound affinity for cheesy snacks. Feeling limited by the title “Easter Bunny,” he now identifies as the “Spring Holiday Bunny.” Moreover, he has decided that his job description, which requires him to “deliver chocolate and hide eggs for all children celebrating Easter,” was too rigid and demanding. In an effort to lessen his workload, the Bunny has asked the Council of Mythological Creatures to change his job description. Rather than delivering chocolate and hiding eggs for all of the children celebrating the holiday, the Bunny would like to “eat chocolate and potentially hide eggs for some of his closest friends and neighbors.” The Bunny also requested a 20-minute break at approximately 4:20 a.m. on Easter morning. He was unable to explain the motivation for this break. 4E contacted the Council of Mythological Creatures several times, but they repeatedly declined to comment.

Not only is the Bunny’s work ethic faltering, but his priorities also seem a little out of whack as of late. When I asked him if he was excited for his so-called “Spring Holiday,” he responded, “Yeah man, I’m super pumped for 4/20.” We here at 4E are still not sure how to interpret that response.

With only hours left before Easter, let’s all hope that the “Spring Holiday Bunny” can get his act together in time for his big day, but don’t be surprised if you find a half-eaten bag of Doritos in your Easter basket.

Photo: comicbookresources.com, pickwickbelle.net

How Kindergarten Secretly Prepared You for the Presidency

Lego_Color_BricksYou thought they were teaching you how to share blocks. Little did you know, your perpetually smiling kindergarten teacher was actually preparing you for the Oval Office.

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On Tuesday, Georgetown professor Sam Potolicchio delivered a lecture in the Lohrfink Auditorium entitled “How to Become President of the United States.” I walked into the lecture two minutes late to find 40 ambitious peers drooling over a very young professor as he played a YouTube video about a gorilla that interrupts a few kids playing basketball. To say the least, I was somewhat confused and extremely skeptical.

However, as the lecture progressed, Potolicchio won me over with his humor and eloquence. Within 20 minutes, I was just as fascinated with the professor’s insights as anyone else in the room. I still haven’t decided if he was the most brilliant person I have ever met, or if he is just the most persuasive speaker that I have ever heard. Either way, his proposed steps toward leadership not only impressed me, but they were also eerily similar to the rules I learned in kindergarten. Just take a look for yourself:

How to become the President through Play-Doh etiquette, as told by Potolicchio

1. If you want to have friends in kindergarten, you have to learn to share the Play-Doh, which is hard because Play-Doh is awesome.

2. However, if you want to be one of the cool kids in kindergarten, you have to share with a lot of people, and some of those people might be pretty different from you.

3. According to Potolicchio, if you want to ascend to a leadership position, you need to offer help to those around you in order to build a network of followers.

4. Furthermore, you need to surround yourself with a wide variety of people, not only to create a diverse group of followers, but also to learn from them.

5. Surrounding yourself with people who think differently than you allows you to garner a more complete understanding of the world around you. They may show you a new way to mold your Play-Doh or they may show you that you can eat it.

6. Then, a few years down the road, you become the president of the United States because of your Play-Doh power.

The Bottom Line:

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Future presidents play with Legos.

Those of us who really thrived in kindergarten know that sharing doesn’t have to be a sacrifice; some games are more fun with more people. Why play Legos by yourself when you can have a Lego war with 30 people? In that vein of thought, Potolicchio argues that being a effective leader means involving more people in the leadership process in an effort to build a stronger network. A company with an effective CEO who involves the other executives and employees in the decision making process is more stable than a similar company with a power-hungry, isolated CEO. Ultimately, you have to find creative ways to maximize involvement if you want to succeed in a leadership position.

So go ahead, share your Play-Doh! If you’re normal, you’ll make some friends and help them achieve great things. If you’re some type of evil, maniacal Play-Doh-hungry tyrant, then you’ll acquire a patchwork of followers who think that you like them. The bottom line is that Potolicchio was a mesmerizing speaker, and I really want to play with Play-Doh.

For more information on professor Potolicchio, check out The Hoya or visit his School of Continuing Studies Faculty Bio Page. Or just watch his TEDxAUBG talk below, given at the American University in Bulgaria:

Photos: warwickeconomicssummit.com, rockland.lohudblogs.com, wikipedia.org

The Seven Wonders of Leo’s

Peterpan2-disneyscreencapsIn a cafeteria where the cups stick together and appetites go to die, the questions are endless. After pondering over the thousands of inexplicable happenings of Leo’s, 4E has decided on the seven most baffling wonders of Leo’s.

1. The Lingering Smell I understand that all cafeterias have a scent, but I don’t understand why the Leo’s scent has to follow me around for the rest of the day. Like, I’m just trying to eat, Leo’s, you don’t need to remind me of my oversized and undercooked lunch for the next six hours.

2. The Appetite-Killing Aura The thought of food usually makes me hungry, but the thought of Leo’s food has a strange way of eradicating all of my desire to eat. It’s not just the taste of the food that kills my appetite; it’s the mystery behind the food. The more I think about the grease and filler that accompanies each Leo’s meal, the less I want to eat in Leo’s ever again.

3. The Sticky Cups This one baffles us all. If any of you have any ideas as to why the cups stick together, please let me know.

4. The Chocolate Milk This milk is my one true love. Seriously, I’m addicted, and this addiction is the only thing that has kept me coming back to Leo’s all year. Well that, and the fact that I already paid for my meal plan.

5. The Eclectic Soundtrack With a soundtrack that uses Beethoven to transition from the “Cupid Shuffle” to Jay Z’s “Ghetto Anthem,” Leo’s mystery DJ definitely has me scratching my head. I’m not saying I hate it, but I just don’t really get it. Either way, I would love to meet the creative genius who threw these tracks together.

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6. The Perpetual Lack of Silverware Alanis Morissette may not understand the definition of ironic, but I’m convinced she was thinking of Leo’s when she penned the lyrics to “Ironic.” Leo’s, you have 10,000 spoons, but where are you hiding all of the knives?

7. The Waffle Maker It’s the saving grace of Leo’s food. When the wok line is too long and the pizza looks especially artificial, a reliable waffle is always there to satisfy my hunger.

4E News Recap

4E News RecapMissed what was happening on the Hilltop this week? 4E has got you covered with some of The Hoya’s most recent headlines:

GU Protects Bangladesh Workers – In light of recent disasters in Bangladesh factories that have left over 1,200 workers dead, the Georgetown Licensing Oversight Committee has voted to require the university’s apparel companies to submit to comprehensive, public inspections of their factories.

BSA Members Boycott Corp Stores – After the Corp Philanthropy Committee denied a grant request from the Black Student Alliance, certain members of the BSA boycotted The Corp.

Men’s Basketball | GU Downs Butler, Wins Third Straight – A 71-63 victory over Butler extended the Hoyas’ winning streak to three games.

Applications Down 2.6% for Class of 2018 – Despite the slight decrease in the number of applicants, the average SAT scores of applicants rose.

Free Speech Still Undefined – Georgetown’s Free Speech and Expression Committee convened Thursday to review the university’s vague free speech policy. Although the discussion did not yield any conclusive clarifications to the policy, Vice President of Student Affairs Todd Olsen promised to clarify the policy by the end of the academic year.

Dorms Eyed to Meet Housing Demand – With the Northeast Triangle Residence Hall not scheduled to open until the summer of 2016, Campus administrators are looking to add bedrooms to LXR, Village C East and Southwest quad.

A Year of Pope Francis – On Monday, the Initiative on Catholic Social Thought and Public Life reviewed the new Pope’s first year and looked ahead to the future of the Catholic Church under the Pope’s influence.

GUSA Sounds Off on Noise – The disruptive construction of the Healey Family Student Center adjacent to New South has led GUSA Senators to pass a bill seeking compensation for New South residents.

Blackboard to Sell Books – The course management website announced on Jan. 29 that it will enter the online bookstore market; however, it will operate independent of the Georgetown bookstore.