Arbitrary Rankings

dolesscuseRecently, the Princeton Review named Syracuse University the nation’s top party school. Unfortunately, Georgetown didn’t quite make the list, but I have a feeling that the administration isn’t complaining about that. If you’re like us here at 4E, you hate to see Syracuse win at anything and you’re probably feeling especially bitter towards the Orangemen right now. In which case, good news! The administration over at Syracuse hasn’t exactly taken kindly to their new position atop the college party scene.

Apparently Syracuse parties a lot?
Apparently Syracuse parties a lot?

In response the Princeton Review ranking, Syracuse released a statement expressing concern for their new label as the hardest partying school in the country. “We do not aspire to be a party school. With new leadership, we are very focused on enhancing the student experience, both academically and socially. Students, parents, faculty and the full Syracuse University community should expect to see important and positive changes in the year ahead that will improve and enhance the student environment in every aspect.” In other words, the fun police will be out in full force at Syracuse next year and its reign as America’s party king is likely to be short-lived.

2005719-no_fun_allowed
Sorry not sorry

Before long, Syracuse will cough up its partying crown and we can all stop hating ourselves for feeling jealous of Syracuse’s sudden fame. Until then, let’s focus on some of the more positive rankings of the past few months. First of all, we all know that in the extensive and confusing world of obscure college rankings, the only list that really matters Business Insider’s “25 Colleges Where Students Are Both Hot and Smart.” And let’s not forget that Georgetown finished fourth on this year’s list. Moreover, Forbes magazine recently named Washington DC the “coolest city in America.” Personally, my heart still lies with Boston, but I’m proud of DC nonetheless. (Meanwhile people in Portland are still too cool to realize that Forbes actually ranks cities by “coolness”).

So we Hoyas aren’t ranked number 1 for “Party Schools”, number 4 for “Lots of Beer”, number 2 for “Lots of Hard Liquor,” (obviously Princeton Review has overlooked our dear friend Burnett’s), or number 18 for “Reefer Madness” . But honestly, we think those rankings only prove you’re trying too hard, Syracuse. Everything in moderation, children. So we can sum it up pretty simply for you all: We don’t drink as much as Syracuse because we’re probably studying and looking good while doing it. We don’t smoke as much as Syracuse because we’re probably plotting how to clinch a spot in Congress… and looking good while doing it. Still, when we do go out, we do it well… and we look damn good while doing it.

Kyle Murphy

Kyle Murphy

Kyle is a senior in the College who enjoys some things and dislikes other things.
Kyle Murphy

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