To: Mother Nature
Cc: Mr. Sun, Jack Frost, President Obama
Subject: WWTWD? (What will the weather do? Duh.)
Dear Mother Nature,
As a D.C. citizen and a lover of weather-appropriate fashion, I want to (read: must) express to you my ultimate confusion. I simply do not know what shenanigans you are trying to bring upon the District of Columbia.
We went from this…
… to this …
Hello? Is this a joke? Am I getting punk’d?
I mean really, come on. It is February. No one loves spring as much as I do, but all of these weather changes are totally messing with my head — and don’t get me started on what this is doing to my closet.
Example: Yesterday I wanted to take a nice walk down to Chipotle because it was beautiful and warm out. What happens? Ice, and then snow and then all of a sudden I was on the floor.
I slipped and fell.
Please, explain this to me. It was 60 degrees out. There should not be snow on the ground. I should be basking in the sunlight, not laying in a pile of dirty winter precipitation.
What do you think this is, Canada? We ALL know the real reason we came to D.C. was because it has warmer weather than our northern neighbors. It is the thing that I brag about every time I see my family — and I am from Long Island, not Antarctica.
The worst part about these crazy weather patterns is how it is messing up Georgetown’s style. I have seen everything from woolen sweaters to shorts to heavy down coats in the span of a day. That is not normal and, honestly, it just makes me want to cry.
So please, Mother Nature, next time you feel like going on a weather bender, keep in mind that I, Courtney Klein, will not be happy.
Also, I blame you for my cold. You should honestly be trying to get on my good side. Please step up your game before I apply to a school in a normal city.