A Menace to Campus: Deadly Doors

Banner - Deadly DoorsBetween Sellinger Lounge and Regents lies one of the most trying obstacles on Georgetown’s campus:

One may be strutting briskly from UG, Pygmalion in hand, wearing his new Canada Goose jacket, when he realizes Einsteins is about to close. He begins to rush, but, instead of flying through the doors, he is stopped with a thud and spills his drink all over his new fur lined jacket. Good thing it was only 50˚ outside.

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Another student may find herself late to class. She tries to run through, only to smack flat into the doors, falling and spilling her books across the floor. She forgets to pick up her final paper, which counts for 95% of her grade, and subsequently fails the class.

And just after, another girl, lost in thought about the next Brown House rager, forgets which way the doors open and smacks her head. Unfortunately, she is too concussed to go to Brown House that weekend.

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All of these completely ~plausible~ stories have one thing in common: the doors that separate Regents and Sellinger Lounge. If you sit and watch, you will see many people try and fail to pass through the threshold. While it’s entertaining for the observer, someone could break a nose or even die from blunt force trauma from these evil doors.

These doors are public enemy number one on campus. Forget the everlasting puddle on the Lau steps, these doors wreak havoc on the Georgetown community and must be stopped. How about a sign? All it would have to say is “push” or “pull.” Is that so hard? I may even write one up in 72 point bolded comic sans font and tape it there. This is really an easy fix.

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But these are not the only doors on campus that are ridiculously engineered. Why do these doors exit from the outside? This is just not how this works?

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I, therefore, propose a complete ban on doors at Georgetown University and will not open any doors until my demands are met. Join me students of Georgetown in fighting the issues that really matter.

Photos/Gifs: giphy.com, 500px.com

Graham Ritter

Graham Ritter

Graham is a sophomore in the MSB from, shockingly, New Jersey. His favorite activities include sharing oxygen with 50 of his closest friends in a New South dorm room and holding MTV reality show viewing parties. He will always forward your emoji chain message.
Graham Ritter

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