Hey, I was doing just fine until…. the lyrics of Closer became permanently embedded in my ear drums. At any given point, the Chainsmokers’ chart-topping hit is playing somewhere on the Georgetown campus and can be avoided only by boycotting Snapchat stories (in which someone is inevitably videoing himself or herself singing along) and other cautionary actions short of putting in earplugs and hiding in your dorm room.
I would like to raise some concerns about the art form that is Closer by the Chainsmokers ft. Halsey:
- The song frequently ambiguously refers to a “rover.” Are we talking about a Range Rover? A Land Rover? A Mars Exploration Rover? Presumably the latter, but it’s unclear.
- The verse: “So baby pull me closer in the backseat of your Rover
That I know you can’t afford
Bite that tattoo on your shoulder
Pull the sheets right off the corner
Of the mattress that you stole
From your roommate back in Boulder
We ain’t ever getting older”
…is first sung by Andrew Taggert and then repeated by Halsey, presenting a few problems. Do both protagonists own Rovers? This is economically improbable, especially taking into consideration that they both are frequenting hotel bars (Are they presumably cheap?), though both reference the other not being able to afford said Rover. I think the takeaway here is that both of our protagonists are financially irresponsible.
Do they both have tattoos on their shoulders? The listener should consider that they possibly got these tattoos together. Maybe this is what initiated “four years, no call,” because they look something like this:
- Why and how is there a mattress in the backseat of the Rover? The standard size of a twin XL mattress (popular in the esteemed college dormitory design community) is 39 x 80 inches. A Range Rover back seat (many thanks to the Vehicle Specification page of landroverusa.com) is 50.8 inches wide with 70.1 inches of floor space. In conclusion, a mattress would not fit in this space, unless the back seats were folded down, which would still result in minimal room for activities that result in pulling the sheets off the corner of this mattress.
Lastly, the music video must be addressed. What happened here?! The music video is horrible. There is no correspondence to the beat or the storyline of the song. We get two people who are clearly well acquainted (what happened to “four years, no call”?) frolicking on a beach (they are supposed to be in a city…). There are no hotel bars, no ROVERS, and no stolen mattresses. Taking all aforementioned inconsistencies into account, for all we know, these people are getting older.
Disclaimer: I am still obsessed with this song. It has taken up permanent residence at the top of my “Going Out (to study, of course)” playlist.
Photos/Gifs: giphy.com, youredm.com
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