We’ve all heard it before; heck, those lucky guides in Blue & Gray tout it as one of the shining moments of a campus tour, delivered while standing in front of historic Dahlgren Chapel:
“Why yes, 60% of Hoyas do marry other Hoyas!”
*Guide shares a knowing smile with mom in crowd nudging her clearly uninterested son.*
Perhaps you’ve met your other half here on the Hilltop; maybe you’re part of the rumored 40% who will *enter dramatic music* meet your significant other after leaving Georgetown.
Regardless, why not try finding love here now? Taking a page out of the New York Times Modern Love column, we at 4E developed…
The 36 Questions That Lead to Love at Georgetown
The 36 questions are broken down into three parts. As you complete each section, the questions will get more and more intimate. If at any point in the in the questionnaire you feel uncomfortable, you may cease and desist. If this is your decision, we at 4E ask that you leave your partner without any notice in order to ensure that you two will avoid eye contact if you ever just so happen to be crossing Healy Lawn at the same time ever again.
Why not ask that special someone to a coffee date, a romantic night at Domino’s Pizza or a stroll to the benches in front of Dahlgren Chapel, just to set the mood? Take a chance on love and ask them these 36 questions. After all, love doesn’t just happen; it’s a choice.
*Disclaimer: 4E is not responsible for any unsuccessful love stories, as this is not a scientific study backed by any supporting evidence. However, we will take full credit if you do find love using our methods. We welcome you to send all complaints and/or suggestions to email@example.com.*
- Given the choice of any person in the world, who would you like to be your “Problem of God” professor?
- Would you like to be Georgetown famous? In like a “mentioned on Georgetown Confessions” way? Or maybe in a “God, can you believe he wrote a confession about himself?” kind of way?
- Before putting in your order at the pasta line at Leo’s, do you ever rehearse what you’ll say to the jolly employee?
- What would constitute a perfect Georgetown Day for you?
- When did you last “accidentally” order two quesadillas at Epi for yourself?
- If you make it big in the real world, what will be the first thing you give to Georgetown’s campus that it so desperately needs?
- Do you have a secret hunch about why Rhino closed despite it’s undeniable earning power among Hoyas both above and underage?
- On the count of three, name your go-to Wisey’s order.
- What flavor of Burnett’s are you most grateful for?
- If you could change anything about your time on the Hilltop, what would it be?
- Take 90 seconds to tell your partner how Quick Pita positively impacted your life before its passing.
- If you could wake up tomorrow with the power to change one thing permanently at Georgetown, what would it be?
- If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future or anything else, would you want to know if you’re working at Goldman Sachs, Deloitte or Teach for America?
- Is there a place on campus you’ve dreamed of taking that special someone to for a long time? Why don’t you lead them to Reiss rooftop right now?
- Without naming any clubs you finally got into, classes you aced or the number of chicken fingers you can down on Chicken Finger Thursday, what has been the greatest accomplishment of your Hoya existence?
- What do you value more in a roommate: cleanliness or their number of housing points?
- What is your most treasured memory that occurred after 11 p.m. on a Thursday night?
- What is your most terrible memory that occurred after 11 p.m. on a Thursday night?
- Knowing that graduation is looming, what is stopping you from going after the Hoya that got away?
- What did/does your friendship with your freshman year roommate mean to you?
- Has your love and affection for our men’s basketball team, despite the heartbreak inflicted, had a positive effect on your Georgetown experience?
- Alternate sharing something you consider a positive side effect of living in D.C. Share three items each.
- How tight-knit was your freshman floor? Do you feel that your freshman year experience on Darnall 6 was happier than that of most other Hoyas?
- On a scale of 1 to 10, how close are you with your dean?
- Make three “we” statements with your partner. For example, “We at this bench have both stolen rolls of toilet paper from Regents and smuggled them out under our Barbour jackets.”
- Finish this sentence on the count of three: “I wish someone at Georgetown had told me … ” *Editor’s note – Do not both say your wish out loud at the same time. This will cancel out all wish-granting or time-travelling powers from the ghost of John Carroll who will be listening in from the clock tower.*
- Take turns sharing the basis, and then nitty-gritty details of the personal essay you submitted in your original Georgetown application.
- After taking one minute to dig through your memory bank, tell your partner about the first time that you saw them on campus. Be very honest as you explain what your first impression of your partner was.
- Share with your partner when or if this first impression changed.
- When was the first time you cried because Georgetown, in all its glory and madness, got the best of you?
- Tell your partner what you admire most about them.
- What, if anything, do you think Hoyas should care more about?
- Imagine that you are at the Lincoln Memorial watching the sunrise on the morning of your graduation. You will never again be surrounded by all your fellow classmates in one spot ever again. What is one thing you regret not having told someone, be they a friend or a face in the crowd who never became anything more?
- Why haven’t you told the aforementioned person what you think yet?
- Of all your friends, colleagues, professors, Jesuits or four-legged friends on the Hilltop, who are you most afraid of losing, metaphysically or metaphorically?
- Stand up and grab your partners’ hands in your own. Set a timer and stare into each others eyes soundlessly for 228 seconds, one for every year of Georgetown’s existence.
Thank you for your participation! Now get over to Tombs and laugh about how silly that was. Or, maybe it wasn’t. Best of luck.
Photos/Gifs: buzzfeed.com, giphy.com
Disclaimer: This is NOT the "Alessandra Puccio" who wrote in the 2017 GAAP Group. That "Alessandra Puccio" does not exist.