An Ode to John Thompson III

Well Hoyas, those of you who actually pay attention to the real news and not any of those alternative facts know that last Thursday, our beloved men’s basketball coach, John Thompson III, was dismissed from Georgetown University. Let me paint a picture of the general reaction of Hoya fans when they heard the news:

We at 4E were certainly pleased to hear that change is finally happening, but how could we let JTIII go without a proper sendoff? He stayed with the basketball program for thirteen years and was very firm in his dedication to Georgetown. In honor of JTIII’s final days on the Hilltop, here is 4E’s tribute to the basketball coach we know and love.

The Verizon Center is bumping and ablaze with light,

Filled with students who all came out to watch the Hoyas fight.

The lights start to black out on the court,

Signaling it’s almost time to watch Georgetown’s worst favorite sport.

The announcer begins his usual spiel,

Saying stuff we know not to be real.

For example, he yells as we watch game time approach:

“Here’s John Thompson III, everyone’s favorite coach!”

We sit and watch as the Hoyas play some pretty bad basketball,

While my father, a huge Hoya fan, is probably banging his head against a wall.

Another week, another basketball game lost.

We all know something has to change, but at what cost?

Many think it’s necessary JTIII has to be fired,

An idea as appealing as Baked & Wired.

 We lose game, after game, after game,

But nothing changes; our team’s pathetic nature is still the same.

Remember the days when the Hoyas used be victorious?

Yeah that was in the 1980s, oh those times were glorious.

 That was when JTIII’s father, JT Jr., was in charge,

When Georgetown’s chances at winning were, for once, quite large.

We had great expectations for the team in 2004,

When Georgetown brought another Thompson to the coaching floor.

Players like Hibbert, Wallace, Freeman and Green

Made Georgetown basketball a winning machine.

We hoped for great things from JT Jr.’s son,

And there were definitely great moments, but they are now over and done.

Those times of victory and glory are now long gone,

And it’s time for JTIII to pass the baton.

It’s time to say goodbye to JTIII,

And now it’s the dawn of a new era for Hoya fans like me.

Although we are all excited for this wondrous new age,

We must pay due homage to JTIII and redirect our rage.

We must move forward and prepare to juice ‘Cuse,

Something too important for us to refuse.

Coach Thompson, we will always remember your dedication and spirit,

Those who heard you speak about the team all were able to hear it.

You stayed with us for a good long while,

Through the good times and bad times, you truly exemplified a Hoya lifestyle.

You cared about our players, something we will never forget.

So in a few months when we look back on your thirteen years,

We’ll feel appreciation and gratitude, not regret.

Photos/gifs: guhoyas.com, giphy.com

Other Things at Georgetown That Should Be Fired

We were beginning to think change was impossible. That was, of course, until it happened yesterday. Coach John Thompson III was not able to answer the question “Who Do You Know Here?” and was denied entrance at the door to another season at the helm of Georgetown basketball.

While the announcement was certainly shocking, if completely justified, it was more than just someone getting fired. This means that change is possible at Georgetown. Let’s ride the wave and get rid of the people at Georgetown responsible for other grave injustices:

  1. FIRE the person in charge of sending GUPD updates. What ever happened to the emails about drunk people waking up in the wrong bed and punching someone? Then there was the time when someone was kidnapped and we didn’t even hear about it. Change is needed.

    Pictured: current reputation of GUPD
  2. FIRE SNAPS. Do you have nothing better to do on a Friday night than break up a party that probably wasn’t good in the first place? Our tuition dollars are literally being spent to reduce the party scene.
  3. FIRE the architect of Lau. This is probably somewhat irrelevant, but just as a preventative measure, his or her professional license should be confiscated. Our skyline would have been so perfect if it weren’t for a building that is as soul-sucking as it looks.

    NO!
  4. FIRE the people who don’t pick up their omelets. All we can ask for at a Leo’s dining ~experience~ is to be lucky enough not to see a mouse and a timely produced omelet. Nobody likes long lines. Help make this a reality.
  5. FIRE the founder of Instructional Continuity. Who in John Carroll’s name ever signed off that this was a good idea? I dare the administration to put out a survey about students’ and teachers’ satisfaction around this perversion of the education system.
  6. FIRE professors that don’t round grades up. It’s not even about common courtesies; it’s about properly representing numbers. One rounds 8.6 to 9.0 so why isn’t an 86 an A-?
  7. FIRE Saxanet. If I lose my progress while working on something one mor..

Photos/Gifs: tumblr.com, giphy.com, memecrunch.com, Rachel Skaar/The Hoya

Exclusive Movie Ticket Giveaway

Enter to win one of ten admit-2 passes to see “T2 Trainspotting!” 
These Run-of-Engagement Passes are good at any Landmark theater in the DC area, valid Monday through Thursday, beginning Monday, March 27.
Please email guide@thehoya.com with “T2 ROE Pass Giveaway” as the subject line to enter. 

Don’t know much about “T2 Trainspotting?” Read on!

First, there was an opportunity. Then, there was a betrayal.

Twenty years have gone by since the original “Trainspotting” release.

Much has changed, but just as much remains the same.
Mark Renton (Ewan McGregor) returns to the only place he can ever call home.
There, they are waiting for him: Spud (Ewen Bremner), Sick Boy (Jonny Lee Miller), and Begbie (Robert Carlyle).
Other old friends are waiting too: sorrow, loss, joy, vengeance, hatred, friendship, love, longing, fear, regret, diamorphine, self-destruction and mortal danger. They are all lined up to welcome him, ready for him to join the dance.
Face your past. Choose your future. T2 Trainspotting.
Rated: R | Opening in Washington, DC theaters on Friday, March 24.
Check out the trailer at https://youtu.be/wfEImq47Jpw
Photos/gifs: giphy.com

What Does Your Drunk Food Say About You?

After a night of drinking, we all crave that midnight, or rather, early morning snack. What does you go-to drunk munchie say about you? Let’s find out.

1. Pizza

Dog GIF - Find & Share on GIPHY

You are a lazy, yet consistent, drunk eater. You attack a slice of street pizza head on, no knife or fork; just you and your cheesy mess. Or maybe you call your local pizza place for delivery. This place knows the sound of your voice and probably already has your order programmed. You think you’re friends with these guys, but don’t be fooled. Remember, Tony the Pizza Guy just wants your money, not your friendship.

2. Wrap/Sandwich/Burrito/Gyro

Eating GIF - Find & Share on GIPHY

You are a sophisticated drunk. You know where the OPEN late night food is and you guide all your friends to its deliciousness. You have also mastered the art of eating with both hands while intoxicated. Sometimes you may even advance to the next level: eating and walking while intoxicated.

3. Fries 

You’re a sharer. Maybe not by choice, but certainly by your order. When you ordered fries you agreed to the silent promise to allow everyone “just one fry.” Ordering fries comes with a lot of positives too. You often escape the feeding frenzy cleaner than you were before and probably with new friends!

4. Cereal 

You have either made the responsible decision to cut back on drunk food spending, cut back on your waistline, or your actually trying to go to bed before 1 AM. We all know that drunk food adds up in dollar signs, calories or an extra hour to your night out. Whether you’re saving money, avoiding greasy late night food or trying to get some shut eye, you’re taking the Drunk High Road. Congrats!

5. Healthy Food 

Get out! Healthy food doesn’t even count. Did you even go out? Or did you just have a glass of wine? Either way, you have enough wits and self-control to make yourself a healthy late night snack like carrots and hummus. Your friends may give you the stink eye when you decide to head home and eat an apple, instead of stumbling to that late night diner. However, you’re the real winner as you will probably wake up the next day with only a mild headache and a healthy stomach.

images/gifs: giphy.com 

What to Do After Getting Rejected from Piano Bar

After everyone’s favorite grimy bar got raided a few too many times and decided to be a whole lot pickier about who they let in, a lot of underage Georgetown students are left wondering – what next? Where else can I spend my Wednesday nights partying? Is there another spot I can flock to on a typical dead Georgetown Friday night? While no one has come up with a perfect solution yet, here are 4E’s 7 alternatives to Piano Bar.

  1. If you’re still looking to go out and have a good time, try Chi Di! What’s one rejection when you can have two in one night? Have you gotten a little too comfortable with your fake? Definitely give it a go despite multiple texts reporting cops surrounding the club.
  2. A rejection from Chi Di not enough to kill your party mood? The next move is a random club in downtown DC. You’re guaranteed to meet people almost twice your age, and if you wait in line long enough, you might even get to realize that Ultra is not nearly as large as they make it out to be. 
  3. However, if you’re a homebody and trying to stay near campus, why not try CVS on Wisconsin? I’m not kidding; this place is a goldmine. They have everything from snacks, to makeup, to Donald Trump shot glasses!
  4. Why not make it an early night at Epi? Sometimes Epi is more lit than the party (or in this case, Piano) itself. You’re guaranteed to see at least one person you know (and you know you wanted that quesadilla more than you wanted to be sweating it out on the dirty dance floor of Piano anyway).
  5. If you’re the typical Georgetown student who likes to talk about how much work they have, but never actually does it, why not spend the extra time studying? I hear (but don’t know from personal experience) Lau is open 24 hours a day. You can probably get some quality work done, considering your of age peers will be enjoying the bar you couldn’t get into. 
  6. Go to bed. Literally every single time I ask someone how they’re doing, they say tired. Instead of taking laps around Piano and waiting for the bartender to notice you until 2 AM, why not get some quality sleep in? Maybe the next day you won’t have to ban your roommate from drying her hair so that you can nap (sorry, Chiara!). 
  7. Stay in! Why risk it? It’s much safer to be caught partying by your RA than by the police. Grab some friends and have a good old sleepover filled with rounds of “Never Have I Ever” and “Truth or Dare.” I promise you’ll learn more about them that way than shouting over Piano’s sometimes cringey, sometimes decent music. These are just a few ideas for what you can do after being rejected from Piano, but feel free to explore other alternatives. Whatever you decide, 4E hopes you stay safe out there in this newly dangerous Georgetown bubble.

Gifs: giphy.com

YouTube Hits of the 2000s

Feeling nostalgic on this snowy D.C. day? If you’re curled up on your couch with a steaming cup of cocoa like me, I suggest you revisit remnants of warmer, happier days. These YouTube videos were all the rage back in the 2000s, and I’m sure they’ll bring out your best middle school self in no time.

Potter Puppet Pals: The Mysterious Ticking Noise

“DUMBLEDORE!”

Charlie the Unicorn

Candy Mountain. ‘Nuff said.

Muffins

This dude is super creepy, am I right? “Blood muffins.” Ok. I wonder what he’s up to now.

How to trick people into thinking you’re good looking

This is Jenna Marbles at her absolute prime. I revisit this video every few months just for a giggle.

The Gummy Bear Song – Long English Version

As of March 14, 2017, this video has 931,812,066 views on YouTube.

The Duck Song

“Hey. Got any grapes?”

David After Dentist

“Is this real life?” Yes, David, it is. And you’re a star!

Zombie Kid Likes Turtles

Personal hero.

Videos: YouTube.com

Breaking Down Georgetown’s Geotags

It’s time to embrace the sad truth: GW’s geotag game is stronger than ours. Let’s explore Georgetown’s finest options in the ever-present Snapchat game.

Grey outline of Healy Hall with Hoya Saxa in a circle in the corner – Always the first one to appear when swiping right on Snapchat. Really boring tbh. Not ideal for the classic freshman Healy snap story.

‘I Believe’ – Don’t get me started. Wrong color scheme, takes up the entire picture, no one knows what ‘I Believe’ stands for. 0/10. Apparently used for a GUSA Presidential campaign two years ago, and we’ve never stopped having it. Somehow that makes it more annoying.

Southwest Quad – As if living in McCarthy wasn’t bad enough, their Snapchat filter is probably the weakest on campus. Worth a venture to Snaxa for late night slushies and to check out this monstrosity.

Leo’s salad bar – It’s just tomatoes and lettuce. 2/10 for unbalanced dieting.

Leo’s upstairs – Very representative of the lighting. Could go well with a food snap of vegan brownies. I never get this one actually in Leo’s; only in my New South dorm room.

MSB – The bros use it after nailing their Goldman Sachs interviews and OPIM exams. Goes well with Vineyard Vines and/or a suit and tie combo. Points for having the prettiest building. I appreciate.

 

Dahlgren Chapel – So cute, so chic, so simple. My parents were married here so I’m a bit biased. 10/10 for love.

Outline of Healy with Georgetown University in middle – It would require effort to make this uglier.

Lau – Harsh. Boring. But is that not representative of Lau vibes?

Lord of the Rings Lau – Don’t get me wrong: this filter is weird, but points for creativity and nerdiness. I see you. Gets a laugh at 3 AM when cramming for a History midterm.

McCourt School Georgetown – Old time-y font and DC imagery. I like. Solid 8/10.

Georgetown University with Hoya Saxa in cursive: perfect for freshman bragging to their high school friends about attending a top 20 institution. The only filter that blatantly says, “Hoya Saxa,” so that’s pretty concerning. Basic but very nice.

Future Recommendations:

  1. Why is there no ICC geotag? Bill Clinton would not approve.
  2. No acknowledgment of Jesuits I see. Does Cura Personals even mean anything to Georgetown if we cannot fully represent this on our social media?
  3. Genuine question: Does Darnall have one? I’ve never been there.
  4. Why doesn’t Jack the Bulldog get any love?
  5. Let’s have a New South geotag reading “Zoo South” that shows broken Pineapple Burnetts and dip in the stairwell.
  6. @Corp Marketing I know a geotag at each location would be hard but it would be dope.Photos: me, duh.

OWN IT 2017 Sneak Peek

The OWN IT Summit will be on March 18th with main stage speakers in Gaston Hall, breakout sessions around campus and a marketplace in HSFC. Do you find yourself asking what exactly is OWN IT? Well, here is its mission statement:

“Preparing the next generation of female leaders: OWN IT is bridging the gap between female leaders of the 21st century and the millennials who admire them, by shaking up the women’s leadership arena and producing accessible events for college-aged women.”

That’s got me ~feelin myself~.

Last year two-time Olympic gold medalist Abby Wambach helped ~kick off~ the Summit. She sat down for an interview with CBS anchor Norah O’Donnell and received the OWN IT award.

A few of her fellow speakers from OWN IT 2016 will be in attendance this year, including Amani Al-Khatatbeh, founder & Editor-in-Chief of Muslim Girl,

and Sarah McBride, National Press Secretary of the Human Rights Campaign.

Now back to 2017. Before reading any further, I highly suggest you click this link and play “The Future is Female” by Madame Gandhi. Madame Gandhi will be performing at the summit this year. On top of that, she, herself, is a Hoya.

She graduated in 2011 after majoring in Math. Before she launched her solo career, she was a drummer for MIA (brb transferring schools to become a math major).

So, if that hasn’t gotten you excited to #OWNIT, we at 4E are here to update you on some of the speakers, vendors and other happenings at the Summit this year.

Madame Gandhi will not be the sole Hoya to speak at OWN IT. She will be joined by one of the founders of Misfit Juicery, Anne Yang, who graduated just last year. Misfit Juicery uses fruit that was deemed unsuitable to sell due to its appearance to make juice (pro tip: don’t judge a fruit by its cover).

Anastasia Somozoa is another Hoya returning to the Hilltop for the Summit. You might recognize her as one of the speakers at the 2016 Democratic National Convention. She is also an international disability rights activist.

Current Hoya Summer Durant (C ’17), who spoke at TEDxGeorgetown this fall, will reprise parts of her talk at the Summit.

These Hoyas will be joined by the following leading ladies:

Symone Sanders, a CNN Political Correspondent and Former Press Secretary for the Bernie Sanders campaign.

Tina Tchen, former Chief of Staff to Michelle Obama.

Congresswoman Stephanie Murray, a Democrat from Florida who has earned the Secretary of Defense Medal for Exceptional Civilian Service.

These are just a few of the accomplished and game-changing women that will be speaking at OWN IT. If you’d like to see the other speakers, check out the Facebook page.

Not only do they get to listen to women leaders speak on Gaston, but attendees partake in two breakout sessions, smaller, topic-focused panels where they have the chance to interact with speakers and become their best friend.

The Summit will also have a marketplace with over twenty vendors including Sweetgreen, POLITICO and Maracas Ice Pops. Sweetgreen is a sponsor of the event and will be providing lunch for the day. POLITICO will conduct video interviews with attendees for their upcoming website and will present print issues and provide promotional items. Three student groups will also be a part of the marketplace: Bossier, McDonough Women, and Bassigue. Bossier is creating a magazine issue specifically for the Summit which they will feature at the marketplace. McDonough Women will provide promotional items and Bassigue will present their merchandise.

If that doesn’t seem like enough, attendees get swag bags, which last year included an OWN IT pen and definitely helped me #own my finals.

So get ready to #OWNIT! And if you were unable to acquire a ticket, but still want to watch the day unfold, follow the Summit online through #ownit2017.

Photos/gifs: Giphy.com, OWNITSummit.com, TEDXGeorgetown.org, Facebook.com/theownitsummit.com, buquad.com

The Five Stages of Getting Written Up

In the wise words of Hannah Montana, “Nobody’s perfect.” This timeless adage is particularly true for Georgetown students. Sometimes we make a little too much noise, have a little too much fun and get a little too lit. And sometimes we get caught. For those have been written up, you know exactly what I am talking about. For those who have not, this is what you can expect:

  1. Caught in the Act- Perhaps you were blasting “Closer” a little too loud during quiet hours, or maybe you were caught roaming the halls of New South with an illicit beverage (which 4E in no way supports if you are under 21). Whatever you were doing, you were likely not supposed to be doing it. You know it, and more importantly the RA knows it. Whether you get a knock on the door or you get stopped in the hallway, you better cooperate because God knows there’s no way out of this one.
  2. The Wait- The RA takes down your information and tells you to expect an email from the Judicial Council. What she does not tell you is that it will not come for approximately three weeks. This excessive time period is racked with questions, doubts and uncertainties. What will they charge me with? Will I be expelled? Will this affect my housing points? Was this all possibly some sick joke?
  3. The Meeting- You finally receive the long awaited email accompanied with several charges-a number of which definitely did not happen. You are told to report to the McCarthy Library where you will essentially sell your soul to a community director and, for some reason unbeknownst to you, that kid in your calc class. Get ready to bring out the tears, you’re gonna need them.
  4. The Wait Part 2- You finish the meeting and they tell you to expect another email in a week. A WEEK? I mean seriously, how long does it take? I swear they do this for dramatic effect. Just rip off the band aid people.
  5. Punishment- Your fate has arrived. You find out you only actually received half of the charges you were initially charged with (#blessed), but you also learn you have to take an online course, pay a 50 dollar fee and complete several hours of sanctioned service hours. 4E will ~cash you ousside~ picking up trash in the Georgetown neighborhood for the next two weeks!

While we here at 4E hope this never happens to you,  we are glad we have prepared you for this trying process. May the odds be ever in your favor.

Photos/gifs: giphy.com

Judging You, Judging Your Laptop Stickers

Remember decorating lockers in middle school? Laptop stickers are the college version of this timeless activity.  But now, instead of decorating a metal cubby that you once saw in a photo from 1973 , you’re decorating an expensive computer that you’ll rely on for at least 4 years. What do your stickers (or things that you thought would make you seem cool, let’s be real) say about you?

But first, the basics:

  • No stickers? Congrats, you’re a full-blown adult. We’re all proud. Stop reading this and go back to The Wall Street Journal.
  • Stickers on a laptop case? Just like me with my constantly changing major, you’re unwilling to commit.
  • Stickers on the laptop? Bold. Determined. Committed to your ideals. Really sorry, but you might not be the next President after all.

The stickers themselves:

  • Hamilton-related: Yep, you’re part of the problem. Good job, liberal elite.
  • GoPro: How was your last ski vacation? I’m sure that you looked super cool with that camera on your helmet. Can I see the video? Was there a soundtrack?
  • H*yas for Choice: We’re all fans. But are you really in the club? Thinking that the answer is no.
  • Anything “The Office”-related: Congrats on loving such an obscure show!

  • GUAFSCU/GUSIF: You’re impressive. I understand. You crushed that application and business professional attire.
  • “Oh, Kale Yeah!”: Are you vegan? LMK. @vegans_at_leos.
  • Hillary Clinton campaign: Leave that one up until it fades to nothing, please.
  • Patagonia, or a variation on their logo:  Thank you for supporting this grassroots company, you’re really helping them get off the ground and make a difference in society. Also, it’s super cool that the logo was modified to fit the mountain that you visited recently, how unique!
  • Hometown sticker: Home is where the heart is! Which right now, realistically, is in your laptop, so this fits!

Photos/gifs: giphy.com, flickr.com